Wednesday, 11 May 2011
Married and loving it: What happened to "The Friend I married"
Married and loving it: What happened to "The Friend I married": "Married and loving it It is amazing that we have received amazing traffic and enquiries on this blog as compared to the other two blog’. I..."
What happened to "The Friend I married"
Married and loving it
It is amazing that we have received amazing traffic and enquiries on this blog as compared to the other two blog’. It seems there are more people interested in building happy marriages than people that want to make money. This is a good thing for me because I am aware that great marriages can build a strong resource base as they work together in unity. In fact statistics tell us that most financial problems in a marriage can be traced back to poor communication and poor sex life.
So if you want to make more money work on your marriage. He that finds a wife finds a good thing (The covenant is the thing not the wife) and obtains favor from the Lord. Wow that’s powerful there is an advantage in walking in unity with your wife. Where there is strive there dwell every evil thing but where there is unity there God commands the Blessing. Wow what powerful scriptures. Can this level of unity be achieved? Can we walk together at this level and enjoy this kind of favor and get rid of demonic oppression in our homes? Yes we can!!!
I have found that one of the key factors to building a great marriage that you enjoy is the friendship component, it is so important that you maintain a growing friendship relationship between the two of you. Friendship takes away the animosity and the maliciousness that could possibly develop when two people from different backgrounds are trying to adjust and fit into each other’s lives. Proverbs says ''a man that has friends must show himself friendly'' so I need to develop a friendliness towards my wife and she to me.
Have a close look at these notes and let them build a new paradigm that will help you be a better spouse. I learnt that wealth is not for everyone, only for those that are willing to develop the necessary skills and habits that go along with wealth. In the same way great marriages are for those that are will to pursue the Word of God and the wisdom that builds such marriages. The rest of the world remains on average or they become a statistic. This is not your portion so here we go.
I like defining words so that we can be on the same page, here are some notes from our discipleship manual that will be useful to lay a foundation.
Brotherly Kindness - Definition:
The Greek word is “philadelphia”. It comes from two words: “philos” and “adelphos”.
“Philos” means friend, to be friendly, a companion. From this word we get the Greek word “phileo” which is translated by the word “love”. “Phileo” is the type of love we are most accustomed to. It is a love that desires love to be returned. It is the kind of love we all know through healthy family relationships.
“Adelphos” means a brother, a fellow associate united to another by some bond. This bond can be blood but not necessarily so. It can be any type of bond; i.e., class, social, clubs, organizations, ethnic, etc.
Thus this is a fellow associate (i.e., a brother) who is a good friend.
Consider these verses with the word “philos”:
John 15:13. "Greater love (agape) has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends (philos). (NKJV)
James 2:23.And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, "Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness." And he was called the friend (philos) of God. (NKJV)
Note also this verse from the Old Testament:
Proverbs 18:24. A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (NKJV)
Consider the following passages of scripture, which use the word, philadelphia meaning “brotherly kindness”:
Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; (NKJV) (wow this is powerful remember your last fight)
1 Thessalonians 4:9. But concerning brotherly love you have no need that I should write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love (agape) one another; (NKJV)
Hebrews 13:1.Let brotherly love continue. (NKJV)
1 Peter 1:22 22 Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love (agape) one another fervently with a pure heart, (NKJV)
1 Peter 3:8.Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; (NKJV) {this is speaking to me}
Important note:
“Phileo” is how we love those dear to us (i.e., spouse, children, close relatives). Now the Lord adds to the word for us as Christians! We are to learn to love our brethren with the same type of love. We must move from “phileo” to “philadelphia”. This is a step up. This is leading us toward “agape”.
In other words we must learn to love the brethren at least like we love very close relatives. (It is obvious that the church we read about in the book of Acts did this. They sold their goods in order to help one another.)
This is the process that you go through in marriage. You see this pretty lady, you fall in love, you get married you want to get some love, attention, sex etc. Then as the relationship develops you begin to love with the kindness that wants to give and add value, then after a while you grow up and realize the world does not revolve around you. You begin to love unconditionally with the agape love. The sooner you get here the better, if you can start here its even better.
As human beings we were created to crave for and survive on companionship and relationship, the highest level of intimacy is expressed in marriage, when we get married we must be committed to each other for life. This type of commitment builds lasting marriages because it is built on unconditional love and friendship. Don't get me wrong ultimately we all must have the real foundation of marriage which is agape (unconditional love) a decision to love unselfishly regardless of the circumstances. When we love each other unconditionally and we develop a friendship that is tight we will meet one of the greatest needs in mankind. The need for Love, acceptance, recognition, respect and honor.
We are all looking for and longing for this. The need is met in different ways but is generally interpreted as love by the recipient. A lot of our fights are birthed in the realm of selfishness when we feel we are being denied something we feel is our right. Great marriages are built when ''I'' gets of the throne. You have a right to sex as a husband but if you get it as a right you are not in a happy marriage, as a wife you have a right to be loved but the moment it comes from the demand it is no longer love. Lets love and give ourselves to our spouse out of an unselfish desire to meet their needs.
Below is a conversation between a counselor and a counselee, to illustrate the needs we have for love. Note the differences in the make up of men and women. It would do us good to be able to understand one another in marriage, knowing that we are different will make a difference. Have you ever wondered why we fight about being different when that is the factor that got us together to begin with imagine being married to someone like you.
Councilor: How are you doing and how is the marriage?
Mary (Not her real name): “Haaaaa I have learnt to soldier through many trials. In fact just so you know we had a fall out like last week and we only like started talking yesterday because it was his birthday haa haa ha haaaa aya marriage I tell you!!!!!! Full of decisions to be made
Councilor: Yes it’s like that, you will find that as you grow and mature in Christ and become less selfish things get smoother. I am growing in knowing God and my wife; it’s an amazing journey. As I grow in Christ I am growing in my marriage
Mary: Yeah all I can say is you see exactly where you are in your Christian growth with the way you handle your spouse, issues, forgiveness, choosing to be reconciled than to be right, only there do you see your mirror-image in Christ i.e. how far you are from looking like Him. You know when He chose to die on the cross for us all and said its ok they reject me but I’ll do it nevertheless and if I think of applying it to John (Husband {not his real name}) wow that would be super growth, but I strive to get there
Councilor: Lets press toward the mark of the high calling are you still doing your study of love?
Mary: Honestly I’d slipped up and I can see the impact, wish I had continued. I want to go through the book with him, please pray that we can start today and finish strong and apply more than anything all that we learn
Councilor: Step into it with determination and let God work in you both we will stand and pray it happens. Have fun together remember you are friends first enjoy every moment we don't have forever on earth
Mary: Thanks you are so right, friends first. Its so easy to forget because of these expectations that start coming etc
Councilor: Yes we forget that we are friends and place all kinds of demands and pressures on each other and stop having fun marriage become like school and you have to do home work. Here is the thing unmet expectations lead to frustration. Doing stuff for a friend should be enjoyed not endured, it should bring joy not sorrow.
Mary: You are sooo right, wish John was also on this chat I will have to fill him in on this talk. It will really help us
Councilor: I think I should convert this chat to a blog this is powerful; I get many people asking about the friendship factor in their relationship especially the ladies.
Mary: Sometimes things people say in conversation is amazing because you say your heart right then and things you are going through right then and it definitely would be airing someone’s heart as well.
Councilor: That’s true speaking is a powerful tool to bringing answers. Men need to learn this because we think our way to answers and women talk their way to answers and this difference often creates a dilemma because men think women are talking too much and women think men are not talking enough. But the way we arrive at an answer or course of action is different. But I think men need to talk more even if it is to say I am still thinking about that matter give me time. The worst a woman can think and say to your husband is you are doing nothing about it. Men feel this reduces them and they close up and become an answer to your confession. I will show her that there is nothing being done. This response is wrong but men get pushed to this and the friendship suffers
Mary: So true hey. Its almost like 'oh she's sayin I’m doing nothin ahhh so will keep my processed thought to myself since she does believe there's nothing being done, it wont help to say much to her she will think I’m saying something just because she complained. So for the sake of peace also I’ll continue to be quiet always'
After a moments pause; Mary: “eish God help us to understand that part about each other the silence, the speaking and may there be Godly balances always that comes through
Councilor: That’s correct, if we master this we will become that much more able to assist each other. Inside each wife is a little excited girl that wants to express her excitement about her new Barbie doll and her frustration about the boy who stole her baby pram give her and ear and listen to her and inside every man is a little boy who is excited about his new toy but needs encouragement to use it. Give a word of encouragement and you will see amazing things coming out of him.
Mary: Yes encouragement, you are so right about that. And do you know the core of our disagreement had part element along those lines "you don’t really take time to listen to me" that’s many a woman’s cry, atmosphere must be right to begin to pour out those little hurts that cling onto her heart but many a time like marriage vine was saying in order to reach deep connections couples must sit talk at least an hour, this creates deep strong bonds and men may only manage to get halfway and the frustration builds again in her heart, she wants to be heard, she wants to be held but alas he believes he did well but no she was only about to begin to speak. God help us
Councilor: Yes this is true and God will help us its part of the adventure. I like this chat I will edit it and make it a blog. It will help many people to learn some powerful marriage lesson. If I make money I promise to share with you. Lol
Wow am sure you now see in this true story the importance of the friendship and the bonding that is needed in marriage. For me the challenge has always been the time factor. My marriage has been challenged by our working hours. Being good pastors that love the sheep and want to be there for them. I have learnt that we need to get away more and I need to listen more and talk more. Am sure I am not the only husband to confess this. Oh I can hear all the wives say Amen to this blog.
What do you think? Lets talk
So if you want to make more money work on your marriage. He that finds a wife finds a good thing (The covenant is the thing not the wife) and obtains favor from the Lord. Wow that’s powerful there is an advantage in walking in unity with your wife. Where there is strive there dwell every evil thing but where there is unity there God commands the Blessing. Wow what powerful scriptures. Can this level of unity be achieved? Can we walk together at this level and enjoy this kind of favor and get rid of demonic oppression in our homes? Yes we can!!!
I have found that one of the key factors to building a great marriage that you enjoy is the friendship component, it is so important that you maintain a growing friendship relationship between the two of you. Friendship takes away the animosity and the maliciousness that could possibly develop when two people from different backgrounds are trying to adjust and fit into each other’s lives. Proverbs says ''a man that has friends must show himself friendly'' so I need to develop a friendliness towards my wife and she to me.
Have a close look at these notes and let them build a new paradigm that will help you be a better spouse. I learnt that wealth is not for everyone, only for those that are willing to develop the necessary skills and habits that go along with wealth. In the same way great marriages are for those that are will to pursue the Word of God and the wisdom that builds such marriages. The rest of the world remains on average or they become a statistic. This is not your portion so here we go.
I like defining words so that we can be on the same page, here are some notes from our discipleship manual that will be useful to lay a foundation.
Brotherly Kindness - Definition:
The Greek word is “philadelphia”. It comes from two words: “philos” and “adelphos”.
“Philos” means friend, to be friendly, a companion. From this word we get the Greek word “phileo” which is translated by the word “love”. “Phileo” is the type of love we are most accustomed to. It is a love that desires love to be returned. It is the kind of love we all know through healthy family relationships.
“Adelphos” means a brother, a fellow associate united to another by some bond. This bond can be blood but not necessarily so. It can be any type of bond; i.e., class, social, clubs, organizations, ethnic, etc.
Thus this is a fellow associate (i.e., a brother) who is a good friend.
Consider these verses with the word “philos”:
John 15:13. "Greater love (agape) has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends (philos). (NKJV)
James 2:23.And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, "Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness." And he was called the friend (philos) of God. (NKJV)
Note also this verse from the Old Testament:
Proverbs 18:24. A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (NKJV)
Consider the following passages of scripture, which use the word, philadelphia meaning “brotherly kindness”:
Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; (NKJV) (wow this is powerful remember your last fight)
1 Thessalonians 4:9. But concerning brotherly love you have no need that I should write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love (agape) one another; (NKJV)
Hebrews 13:1.Let brotherly love continue. (NKJV)
1 Peter 1:22 22 Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love (agape) one another fervently with a pure heart, (NKJV)
1 Peter 3:8.Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; (NKJV) {this is speaking to me}
Important note:
“Phileo” is how we love those dear to us (i.e., spouse, children, close relatives). Now the Lord adds to the word for us as Christians! We are to learn to love our brethren with the same type of love. We must move from “phileo” to “philadelphia”. This is a step up. This is leading us toward “agape”.
In other words we must learn to love the brethren at least like we love very close relatives. (It is obvious that the church we read about in the book of Acts did this. They sold their goods in order to help one another.)
This is the process that you go through in marriage. You see this pretty lady, you fall in love, you get married you want to get some love, attention, sex etc. Then as the relationship develops you begin to love with the kindness that wants to give and add value, then after a while you grow up and realize the world does not revolve around you. You begin to love unconditionally with the agape love. The sooner you get here the better, if you can start here its even better.
As human beings we were created to crave for and survive on companionship and relationship, the highest level of intimacy is expressed in marriage, when we get married we must be committed to each other for life. This type of commitment builds lasting marriages because it is built on unconditional love and friendship. Don't get me wrong ultimately we all must have the real foundation of marriage which is agape (unconditional love) a decision to love unselfishly regardless of the circumstances. When we love each other unconditionally and we develop a friendship that is tight we will meet one of the greatest needs in mankind. The need for Love, acceptance, recognition, respect and honor.
We are all looking for and longing for this. The need is met in different ways but is generally interpreted as love by the recipient. A lot of our fights are birthed in the realm of selfishness when we feel we are being denied something we feel is our right. Great marriages are built when ''I'' gets of the throne. You have a right to sex as a husband but if you get it as a right you are not in a happy marriage, as a wife you have a right to be loved but the moment it comes from the demand it is no longer love. Lets love and give ourselves to our spouse out of an unselfish desire to meet their needs.
Below is a conversation between a counselor and a counselee, to illustrate the needs we have for love. Note the differences in the make up of men and women. It would do us good to be able to understand one another in marriage, knowing that we are different will make a difference. Have you ever wondered why we fight about being different when that is the factor that got us together to begin with imagine being married to someone like you.
Councilor: How are you doing and how is the marriage?
Mary (Not her real name): “Haaaaa I have learnt to soldier through many trials. In fact just so you know we had a fall out like last week and we only like started talking yesterday because it was his birthday haa haa ha haaaa aya marriage I tell you!!!!!! Full of decisions to be made
Councilor: Yes it’s like that, you will find that as you grow and mature in Christ and become less selfish things get smoother. I am growing in knowing God and my wife; it’s an amazing journey. As I grow in Christ I am growing in my marriage
Mary: Yeah all I can say is you see exactly where you are in your Christian growth with the way you handle your spouse, issues, forgiveness, choosing to be reconciled than to be right, only there do you see your mirror-image in Christ i.e. how far you are from looking like Him. You know when He chose to die on the cross for us all and said its ok they reject me but I’ll do it nevertheless and if I think of applying it to John (Husband {not his real name}) wow that would be super growth, but I strive to get there
Councilor: Lets press toward the mark of the high calling are you still doing your study of love?
Mary: Honestly I’d slipped up and I can see the impact, wish I had continued. I want to go through the book with him, please pray that we can start today and finish strong and apply more than anything all that we learn
Councilor: Step into it with determination and let God work in you both we will stand and pray it happens. Have fun together remember you are friends first enjoy every moment we don't have forever on earth
Mary: Thanks you are so right, friends first. Its so easy to forget because of these expectations that start coming etc
Councilor: Yes we forget that we are friends and place all kinds of demands and pressures on each other and stop having fun marriage become like school and you have to do home work. Here is the thing unmet expectations lead to frustration. Doing stuff for a friend should be enjoyed not endured, it should bring joy not sorrow.
Mary: You are sooo right, wish John was also on this chat I will have to fill him in on this talk. It will really help us
Councilor: I think I should convert this chat to a blog this is powerful; I get many people asking about the friendship factor in their relationship especially the ladies.
Mary: Sometimes things people say in conversation is amazing because you say your heart right then and things you are going through right then and it definitely would be airing someone’s heart as well.
Councilor: That’s true speaking is a powerful tool to bringing answers. Men need to learn this because we think our way to answers and women talk their way to answers and this difference often creates a dilemma because men think women are talking too much and women think men are not talking enough. But the way we arrive at an answer or course of action is different. But I think men need to talk more even if it is to say I am still thinking about that matter give me time. The worst a woman can think and say to your husband is you are doing nothing about it. Men feel this reduces them and they close up and become an answer to your confession. I will show her that there is nothing being done. This response is wrong but men get pushed to this and the friendship suffers
Mary: So true hey. Its almost like 'oh she's sayin I’m doing nothin ahhh so will keep my processed thought to myself since she does believe there's nothing being done, it wont help to say much to her she will think I’m saying something just because she complained. So for the sake of peace also I’ll continue to be quiet always'
After a moments pause; Mary: “eish God help us to understand that part about each other the silence, the speaking and may there be Godly balances always that comes through
Councilor: That’s correct, if we master this we will become that much more able to assist each other. Inside each wife is a little excited girl that wants to express her excitement about her new Barbie doll and her frustration about the boy who stole her baby pram give her and ear and listen to her and inside every man is a little boy who is excited about his new toy but needs encouragement to use it. Give a word of encouragement and you will see amazing things coming out of him.
Mary: Yes encouragement, you are so right about that. And do you know the core of our disagreement had part element along those lines "you don’t really take time to listen to me" that’s many a woman’s cry, atmosphere must be right to begin to pour out those little hurts that cling onto her heart but many a time like marriage vine was saying in order to reach deep connections couples must sit talk at least an hour, this creates deep strong bonds and men may only manage to get halfway and the frustration builds again in her heart, she wants to be heard, she wants to be held but alas he believes he did well but no she was only about to begin to speak. God help us
Councilor: Yes this is true and God will help us its part of the adventure. I like this chat I will edit it and make it a blog. It will help many people to learn some powerful marriage lesson. If I make money I promise to share with you. Lol
Wow am sure you now see in this true story the importance of the friendship and the bonding that is needed in marriage. For me the challenge has always been the time factor. My marriage has been challenged by our working hours. Being good pastors that love the sheep and want to be there for them. I have learnt that we need to get away more and I need to listen more and talk more. Am sure I am not the only husband to confess this. Oh I can hear all the wives say Amen to this blog.
What do you think? Lets talk
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
Married and loving it: Married and loving it
Married and loving it: Married and loving it: "Married and loving it Hi and welcome to this new blog “Married and loving it'' from last year the Lord put it in my heart to begin to taki..."
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
Married and loving it
Married and loving it
Hi and welcome to this new blog “Married and loving it'' from last year the Lord put it in my heart to begin to taking the teaching and equipping of the church to a new level of seriousness. This is when I purposed to begin to teach by whatever means possible and available. I started planning on blogging, writing books and doing newsletters. My attempts to do the same in 2006-2007 were short lived because of so many challenges that were met along the way. But I began the blog with a new resolve and determination to minister without drawing back.
Hi and welcome to this new blog “Married and loving it'' from last year the Lord put it in my heart to begin to taking the teaching and equipping of the church to a new level of seriousness. This is when I purposed to begin to teach by whatever means possible and available. I started planning on blogging, writing books and doing newsletters. My attempts to do the same in 2006-2007 were short lived because of so many challenges that were met along the way. But I began the blog with a new resolve and determination to minister without drawing back.
I was blessed to discover that many lives were touched and helped through the ministry that is going out to people. In the first month I had just over 2300 people visit the two blog’ (Kingdom financiers and The business breakfast) and now we are at about 500 people weekly. The testimonies have been very encouraging.
With this in mind I then realized that we could also do a blog for married couples so we could answer as many of the outstanding questions as possible. It is our prayer that your marriage will be ministered to and taken higher. My wife and I do not have a perfect marriage; I am still to meet someone who does. But we are working on I with the many pressures that come from our fast paced lives and demanding jobs. Kenneth Hagin had a great marriage that stood out for me in a wonderful way. My seniors Pastors Mom and Dad Shana also have another marriage that had a great impact on our lives. We will share some personal experiences and some wisdom from the Word of God that will help you. I know you will be blessed as we study together how to be married and love it.
In ministering over the years I have discovered that a lot of people are married and are enduring it and not enjoying marriage. Statistics tell us 55% of all marriages end in divorce including Christian marriages. They also say less than half of those that remain married are happy in the marriages, they remain in marriage for the children or to keep up appliances or they do not have the courage to fight through a divorce.
Here are some questions to ask, is it possible to have a happy marriage? What does a good marriage look like? Am I doomed to suffer in marriage all my life?
On this platform we want to answer these questions and many more. We want to learn together how to build divorce proof marriages that are electric and enjoyable. Lets go on this journey together and share the Word and experience great marriages. Whether you have a struggling marriage or one that is heaven on earth you will find these principles to be fun, enjoyable and empowering.
From our last couples meeting we had lots of fun and we resolved to address about 14- topics over the next year and the first topic happens to be my favorite, stop laughing I know many men agree with me on this. Lets look at some notes I found that are exciting.
SEXUALLY ACTIVE MARRIAGES
Sex is a great gift from God. If you are not in a public place say it aloud to yourself till you can say it without fear or embarrassment.
We need to have or develop sexually active marriages. Amazingly there are many marriages, which are not sexually active. It is amazing how that before people get married they want to hold and touch each other but when they get married they can lie next to each other in bed like logs. The drive to be sexually active (actively involved in sexual activity on a regular basis) is strong in the lives of young unmarried people.
Why not enjoy the full blessing of sex that God gave us. Why commit fornication when you can commit love. Lets look into what the Bible says about this great topic. How often should we make love?
I know all the husbands really wish their wives would read this, well share with her these things and talk about it develop a marriage ministry group with other couples and minister to one another.
Drink water out of thine own cistern; and running waters out of thine own well. Proverbs. 5:15. Trust me this verse was not talking about going to the kitchen to drink water, it is talking about one of the most fulfilling experiences in human life.
Making love can be likened to drinking water and that is the picture we are seeing in this scripture. And we drink water several times in a day. So the Bible admonishes you to make love several times a day or as much as is necessary to stop the thirst, so you won't thirst for any other woman. Develop a discipline to meet each other’s sexual needs. Remember 1 Corinthians 7 vs. 1-9 read it and discover what God says about sex in marriage. We will look at this scripture in more detail later but notice vs. 4 and 5 your body belongs to your spouse (unlimited access) without restrictions as long as there is no abuse, violation and demeaning acts. So if you are starving your spouse you are in sin and there is no blessing.
There is more symbolic language in Proverbs 5. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad...Verse 16. What in sex looks like and functions like a fountain? (I am by no means trying to be offensive I want to help you) God's rule for healthy marriages is that the fountains should be allowed to disperse abroad. You must allow the fountains to flow. Some fountains have been closed two weeks or six months. Such fountains are not blessed! Doctors call this a “sexless marriage” one where sex is erratic and rare
The verse continues …and rivers of waters in the streets. What could these streets be? If the fountains are going to flow into the streets, then God says ...let them be only thine OWN and not strangers... In other words sex (making love) should be a blessing enjoyed by the two married people and not outsiders but there will be a blessing that is evident to others.
Verse 17. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times... Wow this is awesome God desires that we find enjoyment and fulfillment in your wife’s body. God masterfully created it to do something powerful to you. Make sure you do not loose the attraction for each other. Play games together that will help develop appreciation for each other’s bodies. A great percentage of impotence or ED (Erectile dysfunction) is said to be psychological and not genetical. In other words if the frame of mind is right the chances are very high that all else will work right.
Verse 19. If you are married your wife’s breasts must satisfy you at all times! Why should you be playing with somebody else’s breast when you have your own wife’s? There is no substitute for your wife’s body but the message Bible say’s why my son should you embrace the bosom of a whore?
One of the ways to prevent fornication if your are married is to make love regularly. When you eat and are satisfied, you don’t feel like eating any more. You will not notice all the food outlets that are advertising loudly that they are open till late. Women especially should know that when they have make love regularly with their husbands, they prevent them from having extra marital affairs. It is a safe guard that we need to implement well. Sexless marriages lead to severe frustration, impotence adultery and other sexual disorders.
A man of God fell into sin. He was sitting in the counseling room after he had impregnated one of his church members he was crying. I was so sad; I wanted to know how it happened. He described the difficulties of sex he had with his wife. One day an opportunity availed itself and he fell into the trap.
She did not want to make love with him. She kept complaining that she was tired, or cold. As soon as the husband committed adultery, she became active. She realized her husband’s adultery was a product of what was going on at home. This does not justify the actions the man should have been more responsible but the door was open. The scripture we read earlier from 1 Corinthians 7 and vs. 5 says the only reason to not make love is for the purpose of prayer and fasting and that is on by consent (agreement) and then come back together quickly lest satan tempts you.
Some wives are just waiting for their husbands to commit adultery and then they will wake up! But it is not necessary for that to happen we can do what the Bible says and enjoy great marriages. The conclusions, make love as often as you have the time and energy for. If there are different sex drives obey the principles of love for your spouse that is will to give even when you feel tiered or bored. As you get into the habit of giving soon you will become a cheerful giver then you will become excited giver then…
Here are some tips to follow
1. Pray about your love making and commit to God
2. Whatever you do in Word or deed do it as to the Lord
3. Reach research from good material
4. Be adventurous and experiment have fun
5. Talk openly and encouragingly
Well there you have it. A blog just for you as a married person. This is accessed only by invitation so if you want some one you know to access this send them the link and they will be blessed. Do give us feed back so we can make this more effective in ministering to you.
We love you.
Pastors Tich and Princisca
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