Testimony of the Goodness of God

Power bite The crossover Pastor Tich Tanyanyiwa

Marriage Was Designed To Be Sexual

Hi Coach Tich, here again, let's talk about sex and marriage and how to build a stronger marriage. It is my desire to help you locate some problem areas and give some guidance on how to make things work.

Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4)

In the message Bible it says, “Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”

To honor marriage is to honor God because God instituted marriage to show the mystical Union of Christ and the church. Satan attacks marriage because it is a constant reminder of something he wanted and never got. He attacks marriage by bringing all kinds of offenses and hurts that cause people to search for options. So what was created to bring glory to God now brings shame and dishonor? 

Did you ever notice that the Bible says "male and female created he them" that means a penis and a vagina were created by divine design it was not accidental it was intentional and perhaps we need to stop and ask ourselves what is this thing that I carry what is its purpose? To quote the late Doctor Myles Munroe "if you do not know the purpose of a thing abuse is inevitable..." You may think I am barking up the wrong tree on this but it's amazing how many people do not know the real purpose of their sexuality, please note this is not an insult to your intelligence far from it this is a call to the original plan of God. If we really understood this there would be fewer divorces and happier marriages. Sex is a glorious expression of oneness between husband and wife "people in covenant" and should be enjoyed as a means of giving oneself willingly to another with the purpose of giving pleasure. 

Unfortunately, the media has attacked marriages so much that the bedroom has been reduced to a place of legal rights and not a place of covenant. Sex has ceased to be a pleasurable process that lasts through the day and has become a "let's get it over and done with" event. Please read this scripture carefully and review your marriage and sex life by asking yourself where does my spouse falls in.

“Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence-only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.” 1st Corinthians 7:1-6 MSG

Have a look at the six types of husbands and wives and locate where you are and perhaps where your spouse is. This may save your marriage.

The six kinds of husbands 

1. Content/ satisfied husband

The content husband is an amazing man to have in your home or arms. All he thinks of is how to serve you better, and what he can do to make you smile. He becomes more creative in his work because of you. Napoleon Hill wrote a chapter in his book Think and grow rich called The Power of Sex transmutation. Get the book and read it you will see the power and place of sex in creating wealth for the family. God is a genius there was no Big Bang except the one that happens in the bedroom of a couple that loves one another. The satisfied Husband will stop at nothing to ensure the family vision is accomplished. 

2. The Hungry Husband

Hunger is not always a bad thing in fact it is an indicator that someone is healthy. To have a hunger for each other or in this case for a husband to hunger for his wife sexually is a good thing (absence of hunger is a cause of concern) however this must be managed so that there is a growing mutual connection that this is where my need is met. Kind of like loyalty to a Restaurant that becomes a favorite. When you get hungry you naturally think "I'm looking forward to being with my wife" this is created by you always have an open door policy (pun intended) this helps close doors to sin or thoughts of infidelity.

I did a blog some time ago titled "Make him come home" (again pun intended) the thesis simply was there is no better ace to come or find sexual satisfaction than at home with a covenant relationship. So give him appetizers often and get him hungry for you.

3. Desperate Husband

The desperate husband is the man who knows that adultery is not an option and begins to desperately work hard to make things work and gets no encouraging response and sooner or later his system begins to cry out for relief. The wise woman will always make sure that her husband’s needs are met and sex is a need it's not a want. Doctor Myles taught that man's number one need is God and the male’s number one need is sex. Don't let your husband get to a desperate stage in the area of sex. This is where the ugly secretary becomes very attractive 

4. The Frustrated Husband

This husband can also be called the committed husband because he is committed to his marriage and will not violate the covenant he learns to live with the frustration of a near-dead sex life. He is tired of the sexcuses and does not pursue his wife anymore and trains his system to survive without sex. But because of what is mentioned above we are sexual creatures and sexual energy must be expressed in the safe confines of marriage when it's not it seeks expression one way or other and soon will lead to bottled emotions and sexuality exploding in anger or in affairs and soon the husband becomes number 5 or 6 which is a stage you do not want to get to. 

5. The Broken Husband

The broken husband is one who has tried to fix things, tried to get the sex right, tried to get the business or finances right but things are not just working. His efforts are not recognized or rewarded at the least by a smiling encouraging wife who gives herself to him sexually without begging. 

A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart, the spirit is broken. (Proverbs 15:13)

When a man's spirit is broken he begins to shut down every program that causes pain and this may be the painful words spoken by his wife sometimes in a bid to get him to act. To a man his wife's words are vital and women have to learn to say the right things. 

There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. (Proverbs 12:18)

She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness. (Proverbs 31:26)

Let your words heal and build your home and you will see how powerful your husband becomes.

6. The "I don't care anymore" Husband

This is when the husband has left the marriage in his heart and no lingers makes an effort to hide the fact that he is in an affair. He has logged out long ago and comes into bed and falls asleep without an effort to be intimate. He is actually hoping she will leave without him having to send her away from that way it's easier to file for divorce and bring in the substitute without guilt or remorse. The Bible says Moses permitted divorce because of the hardness of people's hearts. When people fall out of love and the war begins it's amazing to think these people were once upon a time so madly in love. As a Pastor we sometimes look at relationships and see that it will never work but to separate two hearts that are "in love" is like trying to separate two-bathroom plungers the harder you try the more they cling together. 

At this stage the man does not need counseling as that will not register in his head "he does not care" what he needs is an encounter with God. Sometimes this happens after divorce papers have been signed.

Of all the above-mentioned husbands which one describes your husband most accurately? You need to know so you can put in an action plan before you get to number six. We have sat with couples that have reached stage 5 or 6 and after a bit of discussion you can see on the husband's face an expression that says, "been there before this woman won't change". At this stage, she wants to rescue the relationship but he has logged out because his needs are not being met. He got into the marriage thinking now we can enjoy a fulfilling sexual relationship that will bond us together. 

Six Kinds of Wives

1. The Helper

This is the wife who is totally content and happy in the marriage she believes in and supports the vision of her husband and knows well that her sexuality is a gift that God gave her to enhance the vision and cause the man to be creative and powerful in the marketplace. She understands that the proper use of her femininity will cause her to walk into her full potential and she finds satisfaction in that. The atmosphere in the home and marriage is charged with the expectation of great things and the family vision is flourishing. 

 

2. The Brave.

A Red Indian soldier is called a brave because he is taken through an initiation process that makes him brave, sometimes in marriage men are once cutie and take their wives through very painful processes which they endure out of sheer love for their husbands, and the brave it through difficult times not by choice but because of loyalty. This woman is called a brave, she is tough and always ready to help and give of herself even at the risk of sickness. This is not a good thing to do in fact it is cruel and some husbands should be confronted for this. However, your courage and strength can pay off if coupled with faith and wisdom. I salute the women out there as they have had to be so brave. They leave home, change their names and start a new life with this man hoping to get love and sometimes only get heartache. I am praying for you and pray this article and others will give you some hope and courage.

3. The indifferent Wife

This is the wife who has begun to disconnect from her husband as he feels he is going his own way and does not prioritize her. (This can either be real or perceived however the results are still the same) she is not aware of the vision the goals or the key performance indicators of the family. She sees sex as a one-way pleasure-meeting tool for him. The atmosphere in this home is tense and the husband feels he is working alone. A measure of success can be achieved.

4. The Wounded Wife

This is the wife who has been hurt so much by the actions of her husband (knowingly or out of ignorance). She may just choose to become numb in a bid to stop feeling the pain and she closes out any expression of affection and intimacy. Sex is done out of wifely duty, not pleasure not a desire to give pleasure. When we numb ourselves to manage pain we also close up our ability to receive pleasure and our system begins to look for alternatives.

5. The Offended Wife

This is the wife who feels the husband is a burden and weight that is hindering her from fulfilling her goals. She sees sex as a punishment and may use it in a manipulative way to enhance her goals. There is no pleasure in their sex life when it happens it is mechanical. They both begin to think the grass is greener elsewhere and infidelity sneaks in (either in the physical act or in fantasy)

6. The Vengeful Wife

At this stage, the pain and hurt have gone to manageable thresholds, and the wife is now so broken that she has no care to pretend anymore. She is wounded beyond measure and will lash at anything. This stage is rare because women are very strong and can handle pain very well unlike their male counterparts; however, when a woman is here the red lights are on anything within her reach is a weapon from the children to the kitchen knife to the courts of law. 

Get the book www.faithlandpublishers.co.za

It's important to note that there are traits and languages that go along with each type of husband or wife and learning that language helps to identify where your spouse is and you begin to take measures to remedy the situation. I do not have time on this short blog to help you identify these but our sessions can help or buying our book the Greatest Sex life Ever will be helpful. 

Take time to think through and locate where you are and where your spouse is and fix things if necessary. You may find that there are several symptoms manifesting and showing that your spouse is in serious need of help the good news is there is always hope regardless of where things are. We have seen marriages that were beyond repair getting healed and restored. We believe God will heal yours too.

The simple steps needed to fix things are as follows

1. Repent where you have messed up

2. Paint the picture of the desired reality

3. Draw up an action plan on how you will get there) this should be a joint effort where possible however sometimes you start alone)

4. Get a coach and be accountable to them on progress (preferably your Pastors) prayer and getting into the word is vital at this stage (again I recommend my book The Greatest Sex Life Ever. It talks more than just sex)

5. Start acting out what is right and soon the feelings and emotions with catch up

Hey, we love you and we are praying for you so you too can be Married and Loving It. Take time to visit my blog often and read the powerful articles that have helped so many couples.

Get the book https://www.drtich.com/product/the-greatest-sex-life-ever/ 

Book review 3

Powerbite Pray in the Holy Ghost

Pastors Tich and Princisca

Amongst the Giant Killers Review

Get your marriage “Turned on”

The awesome marriage is not one without storms but one with commitment that we will face every Storm with a resolute determination to overcome it and win and still walk in love with one another. My wife and I have been married and loving it for 13 years now and it’s been amazing. Divorce has never been a part of the schedule, we decided to be in love and be committed to each other regardless of what the devil throws at us. We decided not to fight and make any issue an issue. The closest we have ever gotten to fight is when we try and prove to each other that “I love you more…”

 

We don’t fight about money, in laws, bills, where to live or what to wear. We don’t even fight about who squeezed the toothpaste in the middle. In fact because we use the Forever living fluoride free tooth paste you cannot fight about it being squeezed in the middle. I love my wife and she believes in me and supports the vision regardless of how crazy some of what I dream up is and trust me I am a dreamer. But some how God has always been at the center of our marriage and that has kept us sane and focused. The Kids have never witnessed an altercation between us because we chose to exercise the fruit of the spirit in our marriage. One day my wife and disagreed on whether we should turn left or right at an intersection and the kids sitting at the back asked mummy and daddy are you fighting? This to them was a fight because that’s the closest they have ever seen with regards to a disagreement.

Perhaps you are saying this is not real well ask anyone who is close to us and they will tell you that is just how we live. Our spiritual parents meet with us often just to check how we are doing and we have never had drama to say I was locked out or she refused to cook for me. We are truly married and loving it that why we started the organization “Married and Loving it” to help you build your marriage until you love it. Get your marriage “Turned on”. A marriage that is turned on to the Word of God will be joyful and strong, it will withstand every attack of the enemy and trust me your marriage will be attacked like all marriages but the difference is what foundations do you have. Psalm 13:11 say’s if the foundations be destroyed what can the righteous do? The foundations of marriage have been under attack for a long time and many people are married without good foundations that is why being married and loving it sounds like a fairytale for many.

We have on offer a book that will bless you tremendously and help you lay good foundations in 3 distinct areas that have become the major source of marital wars and conflict. Sex, money and offence (Communication) we have run some seminars with this materiel hosting hundreds of couples and as little as just one couple and we see wonderful results from those that are receptive and teachable. We want to make this available to you so you can work on your foundations. Remember it does not matter how bad things seem right now God can help you recover your marriage. Turn on your marriage to the Word of God and see things change.

In Search of a cheerleader

Find the hero

I have observed many marriages over the years as a Pastor Marriage Coach friend and as a husband. Its amazing how many men I meet who fell lonely and emotionally detached from their wife and feel they cannot confide in their wife and discuss matters of the heart. While on the other side the wife is wondering why is my husband not talking to me I can see there is some thing on his mind. The enemy wants to get the woman to speak against her man so that he can cause division and strain in the relationship. Please read through this blog and be blessed.

God created woman to complete the man in Genesis and when she was made Adam said she was bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh in other words you a part of me you complete me. When a man finds a wife he finds a good thing “marriage, covenant, completion” and the result is you obtain favor from the Lord. Mans completeness is in his wife standing with him and helping him on an assignment that is given by God. Man became man because of the woman. Notice God said, “let us make in our image and after our likeness… male and female created he them and God blessed THEM and said be fruitful…” Genesis 1:26-28 Notice the blessing was on them and they the two of them were called man. So man is man when he is complete.

When men do not find a cheerleader, helper or supporter in their wife they go to other places. The relationship with the secretary become stronger because she believes in him and thinks he is brilliant, his mum becomes close to him because in spite of his weaknesses she thinks he is the most amazing man on the planet, the harlot at the club becomes his counselor and advisor on business and life decisions because she showers him with praise even without a six pack. All he is looking for is a cheerleader some who believes he can change the world. All men need this and it’s amazing what men would do just to get it. The other day my daughter said “Dad you are awesome” Oh my goodness you should have seen the anointing that came on me I could have bought her a car.

 

It’s amazing how words like "I believe in you honey" can make the man become a Superman, Batman, Spiderman and captain America all in one. Oh this is a church chat let me use spiritual examples he becomes Samson, David, Noah and Peter walking on the water simply because a woman believes in him. Have you seen all the hero movies have woman who believes this man can do anything from stopping a train to killing a dragon. When was the last time you told your husband "I believe in you" try it today.

Instead of saying you are useless, we are so poor because of you, what kind of man are you? You are a waste of time, you never do anything right. You will cause him to move away from you and when a man begins to disconnect from you it will be difficult to win him back because he will fill that gap with other cheerleaders like a porn star, a whore in the pub, a woman down the road. The two things you have that will keep him connected to you is your tongue and your vagina. This is Gods gift to connecting couples. (I know some think that this is too strong but I have seen too many dead marriages to water down truth) Look at what proverbs says A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle. (Proverbs 18:19) have your words caused offence has your husband become distant? Well we can help. Use the two languages that he will understand 1. Encouragement 2. Body language. Wives often ask Pastor what can I do to get my husband to connect with me more? Well your Auntie should have told you the tool is available make use of it. That’s what its for.

Lets look at a few more scriptures and help you see things correctly. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. (Proverbs 31:26) When the woman understands the power of her tongue she can make the man get up from watching television and he goes into his bedroom pull out the superman outfit and he will fly out faster than a speeding bullet to change the world. The law of kindness produces amazing results and the marriage will be awesome.

Unless you married some reprobate from the streets most men have great potential to do great things. As a success coach I have seen this over and over the right words bring the best out of even the worst of people. After 3 years of marriage the monster you have in the home is your invention so begin today to build your “Night in Shining Armour”

There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. (Proverbs 12:18) Which one are you? Are you cutting up your spouse to pieces or you are bringing health and healing? Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. (Proverbs 18:21-22) What did your husband find? A good thing or bad thing? Is he better because of your words? Has he found a cheerleader or a judge? After every performance you hold up a scorecard with a 3 or 4.

Be his cheerleader try it tell him today “Babe I believe in you. You are my hero” Put on his favorite outfit get some pompoms do a cheerleader dance and sing "You are my hero" Do a dance and love him. Please be mild on him if this is not usual in your marriage we don't want him looking at you and saying "Honey are you ok?"

Her breasts are amazing

Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. (Proverbs 5:19)

Proverbs five gives us so much wisdom about how to build a strong marriage and all those interested in being married and loving it should give heed to this wisdom. God in His wisdom and grace and live for us designed our bodies to be sexual and to derive pleasure and fulfillment in a properly run sex life. 

God declares let her breasts satisfy you at ALL times and be ravished by her love. Wow that's awesome and exciting notice he says let her breasts must satisfy you… in other words, the satisfaction factor is a choice not a product of the breasts themselves. So whether your wife has bee stings or twin towers you have to enjoy them. My wife has the most amazing breasts in the world, how do I know that well I have never tried any other breasts so my decision is not from experience but by choice I choose to be ravished by her breasts alone and not any other. You may be asking why not try others in order to test and see well if you keep reading chapter five of Proverbs you will notice the warning that the lips of a strange woman drip like the honeycomb and her mouth is sweeter than oil. Isn’t this so true that the immoral woman has the ability to use her tongue to get her way? Men are so vulnerable to the tongue of a jezebel but it's unfortunate how many are still foolish enough to give attention to her words.

Look at the consequence her end is bitter as wormwood (This was a drug that gave its victim a high but the moment the high lifted one was left in bitterness) one is struck by a deadly suffering (the two-edged sword) and the result is death and hell. I am by no means trying to scare anyone out of sin but merely trying to remonstrate with someone till they come to reason and good conduct. Loving and honoring your wife and enjoying her breasts has no consequences that is why God asks a question why my son would you embrace the bosom of a stranger why are you ravished by a strange woman? God knows that this route will cost you and yet we choose to ignore Him. Will a man take fire to his bosom and not be burned? We know the answer to that and yet men still play with fire and think they will never be burned.

Here is the good news you can develop intrigue and excitement about your wife’s body. You can build the relationship and intimacy until she is the only one who satisfies you. You have to make the quality decision to remain focused on loving your wife and her alone that way other doors will close. I discovered recently that there is a part of the human brain that controls the pleasure and pain aspects of our lives and depending on what we are going through there are records being filed in a filing cabinet in our systems that will say that thing we did was pleasurable so let us do it again. Now if the thing was destructive like adultery then we become addicted to and creative about making this experience happen more frequently and this is why men pursue a harlot more than they pursue their wives because their system is recognizing their wife as a source of pain and the other woman as a source of pleasure. And in response to this situation, the wife causes more pain in an attempt to get her husband back and the harlot causes more pleasure and we know what the result is in most cases. The man leaves his wife in pursuit of pleasure with the harlot not knowing that the moment she becomes a wife his system will default back to acting the same way as before because the signal says a wife causes pain and so the cycle continues. Yet on the other hand if the married couple were to understand this they would work at creating pleasurable experiences for each other and so build a stronger marriage. Tell yourself “her breasts are amazing, her body is glorious and desirable, her bums are ever so attractive and when you do this “Amygdala,” says this is enjoyable I love it and sends signals to the frontal lobe that directs our social conduct and relationship management (among many other things) then your creativity in making the relationship pleasurable will increase.

Wow, this is exciting because you can literally coach yourself to enjoying your marriage and to creating an environment that is happy and enjoyable. The Bible teaches that your life can be transformed by the renewing of your mind therapists call this Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is merging behavioral and cognitive therapies. This simply put means changing the way you behave by changing the way you think and process information. The highest and most effective way of doing this is seen when Paul said put on the mind of Christ or let this mind be in you. In other words, the solution to wrong lifestyles is replacing wrong thinking with right thinking, when I begin to think like Christ (His Word) I will begin to act like him. So to fill one's mind with the Word of God is to change one's behavior.

Look at it this way if Christ was a husband how would He treat his wife? Well that’s easy to answer because Christ is a husband to the church and the message Bible says he loved the church with a love marked by giving and not getting. He was willing to die for his wife and that is how we ought to conduct ourselves as husbands. Jesus is mindful of us and will go out of His way to serve us and bless us.

I encourage you as a husband to find pleasure in your marriage, love and honor your wife, serve her and be a covering and a blessing to her and Christ will honor you with favor and success in all your plans. To be “Married and Loving it” you have to make a decision not to be ravished by a stranger and not to embrace a stranger regardless of how sweet her words seem. Be intoxicated by the love or your wife let her occupy space in your mind in the pleasure department and the harlot must occupy the pain department and that way you will walk right and enjoy the trip. When you get home today tell your wife your breasts are amazing and you will see her face light up as she desires to give you pleasure. Hopefully, she has not read this blog so she will love what she is hearing, but even if she knows where you got the trick from she will still love hearing you say it. Other related articles are Make him come home and Lessons from the harlot (This was by far one of my most controversial article yet loaded with truths)

Thanks for reading my articles I hope they are helpful, please give me feedback or ask questions and we can help you further on tich@drtich.com you can also get our latest book The Greatest Sex Life Ever,

and go on a journey that will transform your marriage. www.drtich.com

For further reading follow the blog at http://buildingagreatmarriage.blogspot.com