Thursday 11 June 2015

In Search of a cheerleader

Find the hero


I have observed many marriages over the years as a Pastor Marriage Coach friend and as a husband. Its amazing how many men I meet who fell lonely and emotionally detached from their wife and feel they cannot confide in their wife and discuss matters of the heart. While on the other side the wife is wondering why is my husband not talking to me I can see there is some thing on his mind. The enemy wants to get the woman to speak against her man so that he can cause division and strain in the relationship. Please read through this blog and be blessed.

God created woman to complete the man in Genesis and when she was made Adam said she was bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh in other words you a part of me you complete me. When a man finds a wife he finds a good thing “marriage, covenant, completion” and the result is you obtain favor from the Lord. Mans completeness is in his wife standing with him and helping him on an assignment that is given by God. Man became man because of the woman. Notice God said, “let us make in our image and after our likeness… male and female created he them and God blessed THEM and said be fruitful…” Genesis 1:26-28 Notice the blessing was on them and they the two of them were called man. So man is man when he is complete.

When men do not find a cheerleader, helper or supporter in their wife they go to other places. The relationship with the secretary become stronger because she believes in him and thinks he is brilliant, his mum becomes close to him because in spite of his weaknesses she thinks he is the most amazing man on the planet, the harlot at the club becomes his counselor and advisor on business and life decisions because she showers him with praise even without a six pack. All he is looking for is a cheerleader some who believes he can change the world. All men need this and it’s amazing what men would do just to get it. The other day my daughter said “Dad you are awesome” Oh my goodness you should have seen the anointing that came on me I could have bought her a car.
 
It’s amazing how words like "I believe in you honey" can make the man become a Superman, Batman, Spiderman and captain America all in one. Oh this is a church chat let me use spiritual examples he becomes Samson, David, Noah and Peter walking on the water simply because a woman believes in him. Have you seen all the hero movies have woman who believes this man can do anything from stopping a train to killing a dragon. When was the last time you told your husband "I believe in you" try it today.

Instead of saying you are useless, we are so poor because of you, what kind of man are you? You are a waste of time, you never do anything right. You will cause him to move away from you and when a man begins to disconnect from you it will be difficult to win him back because he will fill that gap with other cheerleaders like a porn star, a whore in the pub, a woman down the road. The two things you have that will keep him connected to you is your tongue and your vagina. This is Gods gift to connecting couples. (I know some think that this is too strong but I have seen too many dead marriages to water down truth) Look at what proverbs says A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle. (Proverbs 18:19) have your words caused offence has your husband become distant? Well we can help. Use the two languages that he will understand 1. Encouragement 2. Body language. Wives often ask Pastor what can I do to get my husband to connect with me more? Well your Auntie should have told you the tool is available make use of it. That’s what its for.

Lets look at a few more scriptures and help you see things correctly. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. (Proverbs 31:26) When the woman understands the power of her tongue she can make the man get up from watching television and he goes into his bedroom pull out the superman outfit and he will fly out faster than a speeding bullet to change the world. The law of kindness produces amazing results and the marriage will be awesome.

Unless you married some reprobate from the streets most men have great potential to do great things. As a success coach I have seen this over and over the right words bring the best out of even the worst of people. After 3 years of marriage the monster you have in the home is your invention so begin today to build your “Night in Shining Armour”

There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. (Proverbs 12:18) Which one are you? Are you cutting up your spouse to pieces or you are bringing health and healing? Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. (Proverbs 18:21-22) What did your husband find? A good thing or bad thing? Is he better because of your words? Has he found a cheerleader or a judge? After every performance you hold up a scorecard with a 3 or 4.

Be his cheerleader try it tell him today “Babe I believe in you. You are my hero” Put on his favorite outfit get some pompoms do a cheerleader dance and sing "You are my hero" Do a dance and love him. Please be mild on him if this is not usual in your marriage we don't want him looking at you and saying "Honey are you ok?"