Success Paradigms 101

Now you can get the wisdom of the blogs in a book format. Success Paradigms 101 is out. Thank you to the blog audience that helped make this book a reality. Visit www.pastortichonsuccess.com or www.success101.co.za or any of your favorite online book retailers and you can get it in kindle, format, e-book format, Nook book format, hardback and paperback.

Even you can succeed

Thank you so much for your help 

My big brother 'Average'

Below is a little excerpt of the book Success Paradigms 101 that I have just completed publishing and is ready for you to read. Have a look and see what you will enjoy when you purchase a copy. This is a perfect gift for your loved ones that will help them prepare for 2013. This is a timely book you can order a copy from  https://www.xlibrispublishing.co.uk/bookstore/bookdisplay.aspx?bookid=303624 or from me at www.success101.co.za and get a signed copy. As a follower of my blogs I am grateful to so many of you that encouraged me to write a book. Well I did with you help now lets read the book.

My Big Brother ‘Average’

I never cease to be amazed at the number of people I meet that have settled for an average life. Average has been made to be the standard. When one succeeds in their village (or a single area of specialisation), they feel like a world champion and cease to pursue bigger dreams, as if there is an intrinsic fear inside that prohibits them from stepping out of the comfort zone of the backyard. The mother throwing the small chick out of the nest of comfort births a bird’s ability to fly. Otherwise, the chick can easily settle for an average life in the nest – fed by the mother, never to discover the purpose of the feathered tools beside his body. When the mother pushes the chick away, it may appear cruel and heartless; however, it marks the beginning of the end to average.

David had older (and bigger) brothers that had settled into an average existence in the nation as members of an average army. The brothers pretended to be brave and strong towards yet they were cowardly and timid. The Bible says the Israeli army was ‘sore afraid’ (1 Sam. 17: 24). David’s brothers had settled into the army format, and they were comfortable with fighting without ambition. On the contrary, you need to make your mark on earth before you log out. We need to feel your existence in this planet. You were born for reason. Conformity is one of humanity’s greatest scourges – we all want to conform, fit in, and be acceptable (instead of profitable). Seemingly, on entering this world, life hands us a uniform printed at the back ‘My big brother is average’. This causes us to imagine only what we have seen and experienced and we settle for a life of conformity.

David’s brothers had settled into the army format and they were comfortable with fighting without ambition

Generally, in families, big brothers set the trend of what the family does. They dictate how far we can go in life. They define the boundaries. In this instance, big brothers are the things that teach us about life and how to handle the challenges that come into our lives. They become the stewards of the current reality that we live in. They tell us what is in the big city and how life in the big city is bad. But that is their experience, that is what they saw and they expect that we will also fit into that mould. I will deal with the big brother syndrome in greater detail later in the book.

Order you copy right now, you will be blessed.

Faith WORKS by LOVE

Hi I really felt the Lord speak strongly to me about this blog so I have allowed it to be longer than my unusual writings I encourage you to read this and share it with anyone you know who is going through some chronic problems. This will help them to walk out into a new place in the Lord.

Faith WORKS by LOVE

Another way to say the above phrase is LOVE WORKS. When agape (the unconditional love of God) love is at work in your life you will win all the time. Faith is the vehicle that helps you get stuff done in Gods realm and love is the fuel. We have a lot of believers that cannot walk in victory because they are not walking in love. The enemy goes about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour’ and we need to resist him steadfast in the faith. In other words you position in God and in His Word is your guarantee for victory over this guy who is like a roaring lion seeking to devour you. You need to make a decision whether you want to win or not, if the enemy can make you feel justified in your decision to not walk in love he will win over you.

Love covers a multitude of sins and if you chose to walk in love there will be no occasion for offense in your heart and your faith will work and get the desired results. The devil has deceived many people to thinking that church is a place where perfect people are waiting to go to heaven and when they discover that this is not true offense comes in and we fail to walk in love. The truth is church is a place where people with many weaknesses gather to be perfected by the ministry of the Word and of the Holy Spirit. He gave gifts unto men (Apostles, Prophets, Evangelists, Pastors and Teachers) to work on the saints and equip them to be more like Christ in their conduct and lifestyle.

So church is not full of hypocrites like many have been made to believe it is made of it is made up of people whose sins have been forgiven and washed in the blood. So spiritually they are perfect and look like Jesus but naturally they are still dealing with the flesh that wants to do its own thing. Even Paul said there is a war in my members after the renewed man I want to do the right thing but the flesh wants to do something contrary. Was Paul a hypocrite? No he was human he was seeking to serve God and be a blessing to the nations just like you. Hebrews 12:12-24 brings out some interesting truth. The Holy Spirit through the Apostle Paul begins by advising us to strengthen the weak to make sure the body is strong then in verse 14 he exhorts us to “pursue peace with ALL people” and to live holy lives and warns that without these you will not see the Lord.

Then he warns us again on the state of our hearts towards each other, he says make sure you do not fall short of the grace of God by allowing bitterness to grow in your heart like a root that will blossom into a tree of death. Later in the chapter he tells us that we have come to Mount Zion the mountain of God the church and general assembly of the firstborn. He says these people are registered in heaven (citizens) spirits of just men that have been made perfect. Now this is deep, what he is saying is that your brother or sister that you are holding that grudge against is a just spirit whose name is registered in heaven. God loves him and accepts him as he is though he expects him to renew his mind and live a transformed life.

If God considers him just and has registered him as a citizen of Zion then what right do you have to be bitter against one that is forgiven. That is why we are encouraged to forgive even as God for Christ sake has forgiven you. If you don’t forgive other neither will you be forgiven. It’s not worth holding onto that thing, let it go forgive that person and you will be free. Faith works by love and love covers a multitude of sins. Notice verse 24 he mentions that Christ is the mediator of the new covenants and the blood sprinkled in this covenant totally deals with the sin issue. The blood that speaks of better terms and conditions than the blood of Able seals this covenant.

So lets go back to the beginning and see what that blood spoke about and what happened for the mess we are in to be this way.

          Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the LORD.” And again, she bore his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a worker of the ground. In the course of time Cain brought to the LORD an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the LORD had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. The LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.”

          Cain spoke to Abel his brother. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him. Then the LORD said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?” He said, “I do not know; am I my brother's keeper?” And the LORD said, “What have you done? The voice of your brother's blood is crying to me from the ground. And now you are cursed from the ground, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand. When you work the ground, it shall no longer yield to you its strength. You shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth.”

           

(Genesis 4:1-12 ESV)

Notice that the offence or the problem started in church during offering time, the brothers were giving to the Lord and one made a mistake in his offering and became angry with his brother for pleasing God with his offering. Having been a Pastor for many years I have come to learn that people in church are at different levels of maturity. Some get offended at the way someone looks at them. The way she is looking at me says that I do not have money or they are despising me because I have no car or my hairstyle is old. Why are the rich people always closer to the pastor? How do you know they are rich or are thinking bad about you?

Cain and Able were brothers in every sense of the word but offense came in and destroyed the relationship. Did you notice what God said to Cain when the root of offense was still small. Why are you angry if you do well your offering will be accepted but if you don’t deal with this thing it will destroy you because sin is crouching at the door and its desire is for you and you must rule it. What God is saying here is so powerful, he is telling Cain and all mankind that when offence waits for you at the door it is out to kill you but you can rule it because I gave you that authority in Genesis 1:28 when I blessed you. Its up to you whether sin will overcome you on not, you are its master. Unfortunately He did not take heed to Gods words like many believers today, sin overpowered him and he killed his brother and the blood that was shed cried out for revenge and justice. The result was that Cain was separated and became a fugitive and the ground lost its ability to produce a full harvest, to get the same return on investment man had to work harder.

Do you realize that your failure to walk in love is hindering your progress, you tithing, offering, praying and serving God is not bringing to you the correct return on investment that it should because the root of bitterness like thorns and thistles in your garden choke your crop so it is with your walk with God. Ask yourself is it worth it holding onto this grudge you cost benefit analysis will tell you that you are holding onto something that has diminishing returns so sooner or later like Cain you will want to kill that person in fact holding onto the unforgiveness is equivalent wanting that person dead. That’s why the bible calls you a murderer if you hate your brother (1^st John 3:15)

Let go of the resentment, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, hatred and malice that you are holding against your brother. Seek reconciliation and let God heal you, as much as lieth in you be at peace with all men. Read Romans 12:18-21 it will help you there are instruction on how to deal with this plague. Finally as an encouragement it has been proved that a lot of diseases are sponsored by offense and unforgiveness if you are able to deal with this you will overcome the devil and not be overcome. Listed below is a list of some of the diseases you will overcome.

High blood pressure

Migraine headaches

Stress

Chronic fatigue

Heart attacks

Heart failure and other heart diseases

Arthritis

Muscle and bone diseases

Chronic pain

Cancer

Depression

The list goes on and on. Research shows that unforgiveness results in stress in your body and when your body is in stress it produces a chemical called cortisol, which is a stress hormone behind a lot of the disease and dysfunction in the human body. The human body was never designed to carry unforgiveness we are made in the image and like ness of God and as such we should walk in love as God does. In fact they have also proved that forgiveness will boost your immune system. Over an extended period of time when one harbors bitterness and unforgiveness the production of cortisol will affect your heart and blood vessels thicken and restrict the flow of blood and headaches come in damage to the brain results and when your heart is weak and your brain is stressed all the other diseases come in. medically they have begun what they call forgiveness training where they train someone facing chronic or terminal disease to forgive and let go of their offenders and there has been wonderful results. 

The church has known this all along from Genesis 4 God told Cain when his countenance fell and anger set in that sin was waiting by the door and he had to master it (rule over it) failure to do so opened the door to mans life and disease became a normal part of life. When I was in high school I had four major problems 1. I was depressed and attempted to commit suicide about three times. 2. I was asthmatic and could not do physical sport. 3. I had migraine head aches that would affect my studying. 4. I was not as sharp as I should have been. The solution came when I came into a love relationship with Christ and I was able to forgive my father who at the time when I was in school was filing for divorce. My mother had looked like a victim of a bad marriage’ and she was but I became so angry that my father would do this to my mother that I was unforgiving for years.

The asthma left immediately the migraines disappeared the chronic depression left I have been joyful for 22 years.  My eyes were healed I stopped wearing spectacles and guess what my mind became so creative I have birthed some amazing things in my short lifetime. I have written so many resources that are helping people. I have authored a book and I have five books waiting to be published. This is all because I was able to forgive and move on.

What are you missing out on in life because you will not forgive, if doctors can coach patients to forgive and receive healing how much more the children of God? Look at this excerpt from an article I read by Dr. Bernie Seigel.

“I have collected 57 extremely well documented so-called cancer miracles. At a certain particular moment in time they decided that the anger and the depression were probably not the best way to go, since they had such little time left. And so they went from that to being loving, caring, no longer angry, no longer depressed, and able to talk to the people they loved. These 57 people had the same pattern. They gave up, totally, their anger, and they gave up, totally, their depression, by specifically a decision to do so. And at that point the tumors started to shrink.”

[Yale Medical School] 

The curse that came on Cain was reduced productivity of the land’ what would happen if you decided to walk in love? Your marriage, you job, career, business ministry or body would begin to yield more

A new study from Duke University Medical Center demonstrates that those who forgive others experience lower levels of chronic pain and less associated psychological problems like anger and depression than those who have not forgiven.

Happy Birthday

To the Woman I love

Princisca My Love

11 Years ago I met a woman who stole my heart I did not go to the police because she left me so mesmerized I could not tell my left from my right. Today she has become my best friend lover partner, team player personal coach. We have had an awesome ten years of marriage and I am so happy to be married to her. The intoxication of your love leaves me in a state of asphyxiation then I come to a place of appreciation. Appreciation to her that bore you, knowing that God has so much in store for you The 3rd of August marks the day she was birthed into this planet and I celebrate her.

A woman of passion for life and aggressive to achieve great things. So focused and so disciplined I never cease to be amazed. A great mother, Pastor Leader. In love with Jesus and of course me. I wish you many years so I can continue to enjoy your friendship and love. You are amazing in the way you carry yourself, such a strong personality wrapped in warm femininity. Such wisdom yet such grace, such passion yet such peace such joy and such energy all in one. I thought the two in one blanket was amazing till I met the 20 in one in you. I thought sliced bread was revolutionary till I met your ad your great personality. I thought 3D TV was amazing until your demonstrated your 5D capabilities. I thought the Range Rover was awesome till I saw your maternal gift. In short you are amazing Honey. I love you Happy birthday. Glad to be by your side

You are amazing, outstanding, gracious, sweet, warm, loving, kind, beautiful, stunning. You take my breath away like the rising of the sun; you melt the stress away like the blowing of a gentle breeze. You quench the thirst like a cool glass of Mazoe. You bring laughter to laughter like a helium balloon. You love makes me see the stars and I feel like riding the moon. Your embrace makes me know that tomorrow will be better. I could go on but I just wanted to say I love you and happy birthday...

Well I figured that since there is still space let me go on. You are a great leader and an amazing Pastor in ten years of marriage and ministry you have never complained about serving the Lord. You are always forward to do the works of ministry and I am so glad. You lead the church with such grace and such wisdom I want you to know that I am glad I chose you. There is no other woman that could have carried the task like you have even I am amazed that you can keep up with a dreamer like me. Thank you for being amazingly amazing. Happy Birthday.

I want you to know that you are more than just a woman you are my wife. I thank God for you 

I would have gone on but I need to stop and embrace you.

Happy Birthday

Marital transformation

What is it about sex?

We are living in a time where the devil is fighting marriages with everything that he has, with the sad statistics of divorce cases being so high. 54 percent of all marriages in SA end in divorce and of those that remain married less than half of them are happy. If this is you I have good news that you can change you situation that what this blog is all about. The devil will try and ensure that there is enough strain and strife in your marriage so that he can influence where you end up in your life. The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy but Jesus came that you might have life and have it more abundantly. The bible also says where there is strife there dwells every evil work. If he and keep you and your spouse in strife you are in trouble. It will affect every area of your life and hinder your progress as a family.

Te enemy will cause wives to feel their husbands are not giving them enough attention so they withdraw sexually saying “All he wants is my body” and he causes husbands to feel frustrated because they are not getting enough sex so they withdraw into their silent world and they watch sport or something thinking she does not honor me. This cycle opens up the door to the devil who is good at coming in with his schemes at such crucial times. 1^st Co7 vs. 5 tells us that satan has a way of tempting us when we least expect it during those cold wars.

When a lady is still single she releases a lot of sexual energy with a desire to catch a man but somewhere along the line she turns this off as if to say I have got a man so its fine. The sex energy that you have is a God-given gift that has a purpose. God never intended for you to turn it off his plan was when you get married you focus it on this one man and you minister to him till he cries. It is designed by God to help the two of you to fulfill an assignment together. A good sex life has many more untold benefits than the few we were taught in the counseling room. Keep reading I attempt to list some of those benefits at the end of this lesson. Harlots seem to have a greater understanding of the power of sexual energy and they put it to use if wives had a greater understanding of this principle they would put the sex trade out of business (read my blog “Lessons from the harlots”) I am still thinking whether I should post part two of it I shocked too many people with part one.  

A few years ago I was led to do a module for ministering to those about to get married as I felt this was a key area in any persons life as I meditated on the topics and started working on the content I realized that I needed to beef up the chapter on sex. I had to learn a lot of this info by chance and experiment, as we go through this month of Marital Transformation I would like to share some of that material with you that have been married for years. Going back to the basics will help you.

Have you ever wondered “what is the fuss about sex?” why does this “sex thing” seem so big in the world, in the news, on television etc? If you are a man you probably wondered the same well not sure about the ladies they have more important things to think about. I took time to look in the Word to find out if sex was such an important topic and I was surprised to find that sex is everywhere in the Bible. In fact according to today’s standards the bible should be PG 41. The stories you read are so filled with sexuality that we cannot dramatize some chapters without cutting out some scenes.

In case you did not know this God designed sex, please do not stop reading the blog right there its true. I discovered recently God designed sex. Can you imagine God as Holy as He is designing the sexual organs with amazing care and attention to detail? If this is true then we know that God is a God of consequence, everything He does has a “because”. Why did God create those strange looking things and then put chemistry between male and female? Well all the Bible scholars got the answer right “to replenish the earth” but is there more to it than that? All the men got the answer to that second question “its for pleasure and enjoyment. Any more answers? I can hear all the ladies say well of course so that I can catch a husband because if that was not there then men would not stop to consider marrying us. Hey you are supposed to be laughing put the stiletto down.

Seriously do you think God in his infinite wisdom only had three answers to this question why sex? Well I don’t think so here is my philosophy. Sex is a powerful tool which when used right can result in happy healthy families and it will produce happy wholesome children who in turn become a happy wholesome community that glorifies God and is pleasing to him. This will also result in financial success and productivity in the lives of the people involved and they will be able to dominate and subdue the earth.

Pastor; are you saying that a good marriage with a great sex life will result in financial and material prosperity. Welllll…. Yes that’s what I am saying. Prove it pastor. Hey don’t be lazy do some research yourself and you will discover this to be true. Let me give you some hints. Research on the top 100 or 1000 wealthiest people in the world you will discover that most of them are in their first marriage, most of them have a strong bond. Then you will note that a lot of people that began to loose their wealth after they began to cheat on their spouse or abuse them. Look at Solomon in the Bible the downfall came because of the many wives who turned his heart away from God. A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord, explain that. The unity and teamwork in a good marriage will have a symbiotic reaction that will bring the couple to a place of favor blessing and increase.

(If you want to understand this more please read Napoleon Hills book Think and grow Rich particularly chapter 11)

Having said all this lets me give you some of the notes that will help you understand sex better so you can benefit from this amazing gift from God. Please do excuse me for using the scientific term sex as opposed to “making love” as Christian couples don’t just have sex they make love and there is a big difference. Be aware that when I say sex it is in its proper sense talking about making love. The whole process which is a lifetime process not an event that lasts 5-10 minutes or 2 hours in the more experienced couples.

What is it about sex that makes it so big an issue in the world today?

What does the bible say?

1. Sex is Good

n  Heb 13:4 MSG Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.

n  Proverbs 5 vs. 15-20 (message bible)

n  1 Corinthians 7 vs. 1

What are the benefits of a healthy mutually rewarding enjoyable electric sex life? In Psalm 68: 19 the Psalmist tell us that God daily loads us with benefits, so we must search for and find those benefits that are in each day. Below is a list of some of those benefits that God has packed in this awesome gift of sex

1) A good sex life glorifies God

2) It will bring Gods blessing because of obedience (as you do the Word) if you are not making love often you are in violation of the scripture and that does not please God.

3) It will help you achieve higher levels of intimacy spiritually and bring unity and synergy (where there is unity God commands the blessing) it is not easy to connect totally with your spouse without being well connected sexually.

4) Good sex brings joy to the heart

You can often see happy couples by measuring the joy. Good sex reduces depression because of all the hormones that are produced and released into your system during lovemaking.

5) Good sex is good for your health

5.1) Oxygenating the blood, every so often our blood need to be saturated with oxygen during love making the heavy breathing increases the oxygen content in your blood and boosts your immune system and causes you to be more creative and resistant to a lot of attacks

5.2) The production of endorphins helps the body to repair, heal and mend itself it bring happiness and reduces cold and flu infections and helps fight other viral infections

5.3) It helps one sleep better you do not need sleeping pills and guess what it helps you to be more alert because you will have slept well, it helps you fight fatigue

5.4) Testosterone helps men to have stronger bones and a firmer body-build as this is the hormone that brings out the masculine factor in men. Your body produces more of this when one has a healthy sex life

5.5) Endorphins & other hormones that are released during hot sex and orgasm act as a pain reliever, no more head ache excuses. It is amazing that your body produces and releases more hormones during lovemaking than at any other time. You will certainly be healthier spirit, soul and body if your sex-life is good. Metal agility and creativity and fruitfulness also come from this great principle  

5.6) Frequent sex and ejaculation reduces the chances of having prostrate cancer in men and cervical cancer in women. The highest number of men with prostrate cancer was found to be among catholic priest and men that practice celibacy. So if you want your spouse to live long be generous. The frequent flushing of the sexual fluids is important for good health.

5.7) Frequent lovemaking helps reduce stress. Men are more stressed when there is less sex in their marriages and they become impatient and irritable and they demand sex more. But when the sex-life is good the traits mentioned above reduce and the pressure for sex goes down.

5.8) Regular love making increases women’s estrogen levels that protect her heart and keep vaginal tissues suppler. A good sex-life will help your dilations at childbirth and also helps in the firming or tightening of the vaginal muscles so the grip will be firmer feredo brake pads

5.9) Good sex strengthens pelvic floor muscles. It’s like gyming often to give you more agility and you can do amazing things in the bedroom

5.10) You avoid adultery hence you will live long. When you don’t make love often the door is open for the devil to attack. I know one too many Christian to have made one mistake and the devil attacked with disease. Making love to one person helps you live longer

6) Good sex is great exercise that addresses every part of your body

Doctors say you burn about 7500calories a year if you make love 3 times a week equivalent to jogging 75 miles. When I run on the treadmill for ten minutes it tell me I have burnt about 35 calories I should save money and just go home to my wife, I can burn more while having fun.

All good exercise releases endorphins and testosterone

7) LOVEMAKING bonds you together with your spouse in ways that nothing else will

Oxytocin (bonding hormone) is released when couples are in foreplay all the way till after they climax. It is a desire-enhancing chemical produced by the pituitary that will increase your desire for each other

8) A healthy sex life boosts self-confidence

People with good sexual relations are more confident and bolder in making presentations

Wow God is good He is an awesome designer don’t deprive yourself of all these great benefits and accrue doctors bills and counseling sessions by depriving one another.

2. Sex is of God

Gen 2:24-25 MSG Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.  (25) The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame.

3. Sex is spiritual

1Co 6:16 There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one." (Add vs. 17)

n  1 Corinthians 7 vs. 1-10

It is more than the physical being joined but you hearts and souls

4. Have/develop sexual affection

1 Corinthians 7 Verse 2-3

Gen 26:8 MSG One day, after they had been there quite a long time, Abimelech, king of the Philistines, looked out his window and saw Isaac fondling his wife Rebekah.

Songs of Solomon 7 (message bible)

We need to work on the affection factor in our marriages. We need to ensure that the spark is still there and that the flame of romance keeps burning, this requires effort from the interested. Being black sometimes has disadvantages and here is one area. It is taboo for couples to show some PDA public display of affection. I believe this is an important component in enjoying our marriages, in the verse above Isaac was fondling his wife. Wow is that in the bible?

5. Avoid excuses (sexcuses)

1 Corinthians 7 Verse 4-5

No back aches head aches or “Sorry honey I’m going to pray…” or Oh the children…

Be determined to satisfy your partner sexually at all times and soon you will be in the habit of ministering to them well and enjoying the process and God is honored in that

n  Think & pray about being more creative in meeting their needs

6. Maintain honor & sexual purity

n  Sexual satisfaction in marriage is one of the best safeguards against infidelity

n  Stay in the Word & PRAYER

n  Stay full of the Holy Spirit

n  Be selective about entertainment 1 Thessalonians 5 vs. 21-23

n  Develop healthy covenant relationships

n  Be wise avoid traps don’t getting too flirty with the baby-minder or secretary. Don’t be seen in strange places at strange times with someone who is not your spouse. Men remember you are made of responsive flesh

n  If you have messed up repent, get things right with God your spouse and affected people, God will forgive and so will people if you are sincere they just take a little longer

7. Sex is pleasurable

n  Proverbs 5 vs. 15-20

n  Satisfy your spouses needs, find out what the need and deliver

n  Have transparent talk, speak openly about what you need from your spouse

n  Plan your sex life and be creative and spontaneous

n  Be creative and explore one another. Find out what that is and what its there for

n  Surprise one another

n  Be determined, never give up even if you make mistakes along the way start over again the good thing about marriage is you learn and grow together

The sexual response cycle

1) Desire

Desire is a function of the mind when certain conditions or stimuli is in place

2) Excitement

Getting turned on

Stimuli. E.g. Sight, sound, smell, touch, taste

This will create a strong yearning for sexual stimulation, this is a function of the body when the mind is in a certain state men tend to arrive here quicker than their wives (so men slow down and let her catch up)

What happens when at this stage? Heart rate increases, blood pressure increases, muscles tense up, nipples become erect, genital blood vessels become engorged with blood

For women, vagina lengthens and widens getting ready to receive the penis, clitoris swells, and breasts swell become very sensitive, the labia swell and separate, vagina becomes lubricated

For men, erect penis, scrotum thickens

3) Plateau

Breathing rate changes, blood pressure continues to increase, physical arousal is high

Women

Nipples enlarge, uterus tips, vagina narrows and tightens to grip the penis

Men

Head of penis swells even more and ejaculation takes place

4) Orgasm

In orgasm anus and vagina tighten and ejaculation happens, spasms take place in the body that cause great pleasure,

5) Resolution (coming back to mother earth)

Wow that was a mouthful in this blog perhaps lets call it a book. I trust you have learnt a lot if not mail me I will return your money back to you. As you read through some of these things please pray together share together about what your expectations are and let God minister to you. Let God heal where there has been pain and hurt and failure. Put together an action plan on how you will move forward visualize he kind of marriage you desire and write the vision down and go for it. If you need help with that let me know and I will help you out.

God bless you as you build a great marriage. Married and loving it is a possible reality

Scripture confession for couples

Hi after we began doing this confession there have been so man miracles in peoples lives and we then realized that we needed a version for couples to speak together. Here I the amended version that will help couples step into their miracles in an awesome way. The Word of God always works and if you allow it to live big in you; you will see great miracles. This confession is a collection of scriptures put together to help you speak the Word of God over your life. God bless you as you step in

Our confession

More Money cometh to us right now in Jesus

More Money cometh to us because we are kingdom financiers

We loose money to come to us

We loose money to come to our business

We loose clients to come to our business

We loose customers to come to our business

We loose tenders to come to our business

We declare that our business is favored in the market place

We declare that our business is selected

We declare that our business is chosen among many

We declare that our business is preferred before many others

We declare that our business is the preferred service provider

We declare that our business is above not beneath

We declare that our business is the ahead and not behind

We declare that our business is in the black not the red

We declare that our business is profitable

We declare that our business is exceeding expectations

We declare that our business is debt free

We declare that our family is debt free

We are anointed to discover hidden wealth

We are anointed to discover hidden opportunities

We are anointed to make wealth for the kingdom of God

We declare that our business is blessed and highly favored

You said in your Word….

You will make us a thousand times more than we are, you said you would bless us and make us a great nation

The Lord shall increase us more and more, and our children

You said you would bless the work of our hands and multiply us in the land that you will give us.

You said you would increase us in the fruit of our body and in our flocks and our livestock

You said there shall be none barren in our midst, therefore we are fruitful, we fruitful in our bodies, minds, careers, finances and business, and there is no barrenness in our life

We are fruitful in all we set our heart to do.

You said there shall be none sick in our midst, therefore we are healed and healthy in body, sound in mind and strong in spirit

None of the diseases that were upon the Egyptians will ever come upon us, healing is our privilege and right

You said we would possess houses we did not build, cities we did not build, vineyards and olive yards we did not plant. we receive them right now

Glory to God hallelujah

Every place where the soles of our feet shall tread upon is mine; there is land, houses and buildings with our name on them

You said in your Word there shall no man be able to stand before us all the days of our life therefore we will prosper in every thing we do, victory is guaranteed

You said we have been blessed with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ Jesus; therefore are blessed right now.

We are blessed in Jesus name; we are living the blessed life. Life as God intended it for us.

We are the head and not the tale, above and not beneath. We are blessed coming in and blessed going out

Though our beginning is small yet our latter end shall greatly increase

Thank you Lord that all these blessings are ours in Jesus name.

Ha ha ha; We are blessed, chosen, selected, preferred, set aside, elevated

Hee heee heeee We are blessed

The Silent Cry

After having done the recent blog ''Lessons from the harlot'' I came to the realization that there are many people that are crying for help. I used to think that its just men only but with responses I got I now know that this cry is from both groups. “Pastor help me I am in the grip of the harlot”, one seeking sexual satisfaction outside of a covenant with some one or something that is seeking material or monetary gain.

There are many people whose lives are tormented by the guilt and shame that goes along with this sinful habit. Living in a nation where ''commercial sex workers'' as they call them are on the verge of being made registered entrepreneurs I have seen how this thing messes up homes. Television stations are fighting to have 24hr pornography channels, Internet porn, Johannesburg alone boasts of having several hundreds of thousands of harlots available at your disposal.

What hope is there for our homes and marriages that are under such severe demonic attack? Well I have good news for you if you are crying out for help. There is an answer for you in the Word of GOD. I am not in any way using nice sounding words to deceive you this is fact.

What can I do if the harlot has got me by the neck and I can see my marriage is on the verge of total collapse? What do I do when I see my husband is watching inappropriate material on television or on the Internet and when he comes to bed he expects me to do things that erode my personal value and self worth? Can I break free from my addiction, I want to be free but I find myself back there doing what I know is wrong only to repent later and go through the same cycle again.

Sexual sin is subtle in its approach but very binding once you are in and the consequences are absolutely devastating. In this blog please allow me to address the married people seeing this is their blog, secondly do note that I am a pastor therefore my approach in all I do is biblical.

1^st Corinthians 6 vs. 12 message Bible Paul’s says “Just because something is technically legal doesn’t mean that its spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I’d be a slave to my whims.” This sounds like a lot of people I speak to. Questions like what is wrong with watching pornography in my country its legal, what is wrong with being gay? Even the government says its fine. You are a slave my brother or sister and Jesus can set you free.

As a young couple in our 2nd year of marriage we were approached by a couple who had a daughter who was about 18 years old the wife was distraught and in tears when she said to us. ''My husband wants me to do things that I do not understand, what should I do?'' we were traumatized to say the least as we had never faced a situation like this. Apparently the husband had had extensive exposure to pornography and after each encounter he came home desiring his wife now in her late forties to have the same agility of the girls he had seen on the internet. This shocked his conservative wife and caused her to withdraw even more. This ultimately led to some serious dissatisfaction from the husband who began to shop elsewhere for more capable service delivery and of course there was no shortage of offers.

A lot in this case is debatable, at the time of the encounter I gave some scriptural advise but am not sure if what I said was practical or moving enough to bring a change in the situation. Given another opportunity today to minister to this couple I would approach it differently as I am wiser now...

To the wife I would recommend her to study the ''Lessons from the harlots'' and move away from what '' Paul calls old wives tales'' about intimacy issues. In this day and age you cannot counsel ladies to go ahead to the bedroom and undress, switch of the lights and jump into bed and wait for the husband to come. Good marriage books written by Christian counselors, doctors and ministers will tell you there is a need to play before. There has to be a build up. Old school will not get the desired results.

Gen 26:8 MSG One day, after they had been there quite a long time, Abimelech, king of the Philistines, looked out his window and saw Isaac fondling his wife Rebekah.

Gen 2:24-25 MSG Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.  (25) The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame.

To the husbands I would say learn from the right sources what works and implement it progressively with consent and mutuality not patronizing masculinity after all she is your wife not your whore. And do remember that your wife is your first and best source. Create an atmosphere that allows liberty to speak what is best for each of you. Forgive the candid talk but lets talk plain here, like real men. Many men are deceived by Hollywood that make intercourse look like some highly dramatized event and when their wife does not breath like the actor they think there is something wrong with her. Remember that woman is paid to act like that, just like the harlot. Do you want a wife or an actor?

Back to the question of how to get free; look at this scripture and think this through. 1^st Corinthians 7 from verse 1 Paul writes “Now getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. (Notice Paul had a blog) First, is it a good thing for a man to have sexual relations? [Now that is a good question and Paul gives a good answer. I often say that the bible is the sexiest book in the world. There are whole chapters and books on the subject] Certainly- but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a wife to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, [please take note of this phrase] but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality-the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place of “stand up for your rights.” [this is why we have so many problems today] Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time IF YOU BOTH AGREE TO IT, and if its for the purpose of prayer and fasting-BUT ONLY FOR SUCH TIME.  Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. [Emphasis added, [] added, quoting for the message bible]

How clear should the bible get on the matter at hand? God is very clear about His plan for our sexual life.

Paul makes it clear that God has a solution, be committed to meet each other’s needs. If there is demonic oppression and sometimes there is; get a Pastor to minister to you. The first step to walking free according to the Bible is confession. Confess your faults one to another and pray for one another.

If anyone is caught in a fault or sin, you that are spiritual restore such an one in a spirit of meekness lest you get caught in the same.

If you confess your sins He is faithful and just to forgive you and to cleanse you. After you receive forgiveness, you have to receive cleansing and often because of the guilt and condemnation associated with sexual sin, many people find it difficult to receive either of the two.

Here are some simple steps to follow in order to walk free. Remember I am operating on two assumptions: That you are married and that you are a child of God (born again)

1. Get into the Word. This means read scriptures on freedom and liberty. Get good literature that will help you

2. Speak your freedom. Let the redeemed of the Lord say so. Hold fast to the confession of your faith without wavering

3. Confess your sin to God and to a reliable mature spiritual person who can walk you through a restoration process. The power of sin is in secrecy, that power is broken through confession.

4. Be under anointed Bible based ministry. Your spiritual covering is important it determines what happens to you. If you worship at a poor, broke, adultery ridden, slanderous church these things will be evident in your life.

5. Initiate the law of substitution. That means when you used to go to the harlot for sexual gratification, go to your spouse. Where the Internet was your source of thrill, go to your spouse. Where magazines were your source of advise (not all magazines address these issues wrong, some magazines give healthy tips and advice, but always measure it with the word of God), go to the Bible or a reliable person. Substitute what is bad with what is good. This might mean clearing your old movie selection, putting in restrictions to the web sites you can visit, being transparent and accountable about the use of money and Internet.

6. Repair relationships. Where you hurt your spouse by your habits and conduct, repent and give them time to heal before you expect all to work normally. With God He will treat you just as if you'd never sinned but we have to be patient with one another.

7. With your spouse and mentors put in a ministry program that you commit to and are held accountable. Sometimes the other spouse needs to walk through the program in an act of support for their partner. This program should include ministry time, Bible study, prayer and celebration.

8. Where necessary get tested together and plan your way forward based on the results. Testing positive is not the end of the world. God is a healer.

Please be aware that this is a process, as you cultured your system into sin you will have to train yourself to do the right thing. Renewing the mind is a process that requires diligence and commitment. Psalm 23 says He restores your soul. If you fail, get up and keep moving with the ministry program.

Sexual sin affects all three components of your life but God will restore all areas including the soul. 1Co 6:16 There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one."

Now a quick warning to spouses that are approached by repentant partners; please chose your reaction wisely. This also applies to Pastors. People that cannot go to their spiritual leaders because there is condemnation and criticism approach me. Repentant people should never have their laundry put out in the open. Restoration should be discreet if it is to be effective. I am not talking rogues that are taking advantage of others.

Please note this is a framework for ministry the flesh will need for you to have someone walk with you through the process. Please refuse to be ministered to by a person of the opposite sex, who comes alone into the counseling session, this leads to more problems. Perhaps also note that even some of the same gender, have other motives.

For further help please do contact us, but your most preferred source of help is your Pastors. That’s why God planted you in a church, be planted and be accountable there.

Office number +27110711590 Email pastortich@mwmi.co.za