Have you found your wife?

“Married and loving it”

Hi trust you are well and enjoying your marriage. Its been a while since I posted anything here. I am loving my wife as best I know how and I think she is doing her best as well. I had a moment the other day as I was meditating on marriage and how to make it even better than it is right now. I began to think on what I normally teach at weddings and asking does it really work? Has it worked for me? Is it working for the couples we have ministered to?

Please note that this blog is not for the faint hearted man but for the man who wants to see change in his life and marriage. Proceed with caution.

Well those are good questions don’t you think? We often use John chapter two the wedding in Cana of Galilee and Proverbs 18 vs. 22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtain favor from the Lord. Have you ever wondered what God is saying to us here? Well as I meditated on this the other day the Lord said to me “notice the favor comes when you find a wife” that struck me firstly because its so obvious but also because there was something I saw for the first time I want to share that with you.

Finding a body to marry is the work of another body but the discovery of the wife hidden in the body is the work of the spirit man guided by the Holy Spirit. You see inside of every woman is an anointing designed to make certain things to happen here in the world. Remember Adam in Genesis chapter 2 we find God making woman from a rib taken out of Adam and she was made (designed equipped, anointed) to help Adam achieve his assignment. In other words without her Adam would have been limited in what he could accomplish. God said it is not good for man to be alone lets make a helper suitable for him.

In other words she had in her what was needed for Adam to be complete. Every wife comes custom made to assist you to achieve the God given vision that is inside you. You ignore your wife to your own peril or destruction, to call your wife stupid, useless dull or to treat her with disrespect is an insult on the fool that married such a woman. Now really the woman is not a fool she is a treasure waiting to be discovered by a wise man (look at Proverbs 8) if you as a man are not able to discover the wife hidden behind the sexy body you will be limited in what you can do in life. He that finds a wife… the wife has got to be searched for and found. You have to discover her by constant pursuit.

It took me many years before this truth began to dawn on me and when God spoke to me this the other day I was totally blown away. I got married on the 31st of August had sex for the first time in my life on the 1st of September 2003 but it was not until we moved to South Africa in 2005 that it began to dawn on me that this beautiful body had a gift for me inside. Its life getting a birthday present of a lap top and its your first time to see one. You will think wow what a nice thing and you put it on your display cabinet. For years you look at it and admire it shape and beautiful finish. You run your fingers over the buttons with sheer pleasure and remember the person who gave you the gift. One day you accidentally press the power button and the screen comes on and you are amazed that “hey there is another side to this gift that I did not know” this will send you on a quest to find out what else can this thing do.

You might think I am exaggerating Napoleon Hill author of the renowned book think and grow rich has a whole chapter in the book about sex and its ability to influence our lives. When I read this it fit in so much to what God was showing me in the scripture.
 I quote “The emotion of sex has back of it the possibility of three constructive potentialities, they are:-
1. The perpetuation of mankind.
2. The maintenance of health, (as a therapeutic agency, it has no equal).
3. The transformation of mediocrity into genius through transmutation.
Sex transmutation is simple and easily explained. It means the switching of the mind from thoughts of physical expression, to thoughts of some other nature.
Sex desire is the most powerful of human desires. When driven by this desire, men develop keenness of imagination, courage, will power, persistence, and creative ability unknown to them at other times."

He goes on in latter part of the chapter to say that most men, great inventors, doctors, scientist etc hit their peek in life at an average age of forty and this was synonymous with the maturation of their sexuality with their wife (not just any woman) those that divorced their wife began to see a significant decline in the measure of success they experienced. What am I saying? “Your wife is your key to success” if you do not discover her and develop her and learn to connect with her you will remain in mediocrity.

Think again what the scripture says “he that finds a wife finds a good thing” (Note; the good thing is not the marriage to a person with breasts and eye lashes and a smile but it’s the wife that is hidden in the body and it’s the covenant you enter into) the wife must be found if there is to be the favor that come from the Lord. The favor is released on the finding the wife not signing the register perse.
There are many men that found a sexy body and a beautiful smile but never found the wife. I have met many men whose total focus in their marriage was the body and not the person (wife) within. You know you have not yet fully found the wife if you are always arguing with her and not taking advise that she offers, if you belittle and undermine her contribution, if you do not seek her wisdom and advise on matters. She has the ability to see things that you are not designed to see. They tell us that women use both sides of their brain to process information while men use one side (that explains a lot doesn’t it?) they are multi taskers we are focused, they are colorful we operate in grey scale, they can talk to you, check on the kids send an email on their black berry and notice the slim woman with a weave and a pink dress all at the same time when you are struggling to hear them. Now tell me you do not need them.

Can I close by using one last example to illustrate my point? As the man you carry the vision of the future (seed in your loins that are manufactured every day in the billions) you determine their gender and a lot of other things. She has a set number of eggs in her body waiting to be fertilized by your seed an egg is released every month waiting to make a baby (desired future reality) when not fertilized the egg is released. When conception takes place its because she received something from you that she will nurture inside of her and it will take shape over nine months and one day a baby is born. She has gone through all kinds of changes and adjustments to make this happen she sacrificed for your pleasure.

Now lets bring it home. Inside of you is the vision you are dreaming about (a business, a church, a school, a home etc) your ability to develop this inside of you and release this vision at the right time under the right conditions into a womb ready for you will determine the result (that is why fornication, adultery and rape is wrong you are planting seed into an unprepared and unreceptive garden) she will receive that seed and nurture it and develop it and at the right time will begin to bring forth that which you planted in her.

If a girl comes out don’t fight her because she developed what you placed in her. Its like kicking your garden for producing carrots when you were expecting lettuce, what seed did you plant. Now remember Genesis 1 vs. 26-28 the Genesis principle of multiplication. God made Adam all one and that was why He said its not good for him to be alone he could not multiply because there was no place to plant the seed. He had to have a place to plant seed in order to be fruitful. Fruitfulness is the result of processes being activated that cause a little thing to be grown into something useful. So Adam knew his wife (made love with) and she conceived and bore Cain and again she bore Abel, Bible scholars say they were twin because she conceived once and bore twice that’s fruitful. What they bore grew and multiplied in number and filled the whole earth and they subdued and dominated though in a wrong way so God started again with Noah and gave the same instruction Genesis 9 vs. 1 “Be fruitful and multiply” this time it was easy because there were three couples representing the next generation that were ready to do the work. The greatness of Noah was hidden in the next generation that was going to make the vision a reality.

Look at Genesis 9 vs. 18-19 the whole earth was to be dispersed or populated by the work of these three couples. They had a big task but if they were able to find the wife they were gong to fulfill the task. If you read chapter 10 you will see that they did fulfill their task. If you are going to become great man of God you need to find the wife hidden in that wonderful woman that you married. There is greatness there which maybe has not been discovered and utilized. Take time to know her and study her and bring out the wife. You will be happy that you did because you will find favor with the Lord. I hope you have been helped with these notes I will be doing further teaching on this so we can lay good foundations for great marriages.

Married and loving it
Pastor Xtreme

For extra reading look through the following scriptures and meditate on them.

Proverbs 19 vs. 14
Proverbs 12 vs. 4
Proverbs 8 vs. 1-36 (particularly vs. 32-36)