Tuesday 24 May 2011

A Great story

A very touching story…………………
Read and let God minister to you. I was so touched I was almost in tears at this story, God bless you as you seek to build a great marriage. Remember the intimate moments are important.
MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, Why?
 
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement, which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce, which had obsessed me for several weeks, seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
 
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
 
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
 
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, its time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
 
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said; I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
 
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, and the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
 A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A
LIFETIME.

“So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

If your marriage is headed this way call us, email us, talk to a pastor somewhere. Its not too late you can make a difference in your marriage there is an answer. We love you and we are willing to stand with you and walk you through a restoration process so you can be “Married and love it” Marriage is supposed to be a blessing and the Word of God can help.

10 comments:

Nkosi D said...

Thats deep, profound Pastor! Its makes me think that its not only marriages but every sphere of life, that we leave because of impulses, yet THE BEST is just close by. Redeem us Lord!

Anonymous said...

Pastor I must confess that this article touched me. Many people are going through the same pain as Jane and they have buried the pain in their hearts and letting a seed of bitterness grow. If only the other spouse could take time to love their spouse regardless of their imperfections, and love them unconditionally then the rate of divorce would be next to none. Keep their vows until death did them apart, not the devil did them apart. As the bible says in Psalms 127v1, "Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labour in vain".

Anonymous said...

there is nothing like coming home to a loving spouse and just the way in the begging we'd go out of our way to come up with something exciting for our spouse we need to keep working at it even harder than we did before. Loving and being loved is BEAUTIFUL.

pastor luchi said...

its easy to to have a housemate instead of a husband/wife. may we by God's grace dress and keep our gardens of eden. Prophet T goshen grace to you

Anonymous said...

Intimacy is what lacks in most marriages, somehow that bit goes off the window the moment a couple gets married. Im sorry to say this but mostly men forget that you need to keep the fire burning, ladies just die a silent death hoping that their prince charming will someday show up again. The kind of things you do while you are still dating matter so much and will sustain any relationship. This is the second time l read this and each time lam so sad because it reminds me of my own marriage. i dveloped BP because of it but l still have faith that God will heal both my BP and my marriage, one thing for sure is l dont want to be forced to walk out of it

Tich Tanyanyiwa said...

These are very interesting comments indeed they provoke thought and action

jack said...

oh this is sad pastor,well i think couples should be taught more on intimacy i marriages because its the one that spices up the marriage.

Abby said...

Very inspiring Pastor, its the little blessings in the marriage that we tend to ignore. To all marrieds out there remember the 80 - 20 rule....

Mamonaheng said...

This is really inspiring.Above all such things do happen. Thanks for sharing this story coz it's not in vain it will change many marriages.

alexmlisa said...

Thank you Pastor on my revist to the blog,i need to say marriage is God ordained and and its not meant to be endured but to be enjoyed,its not the great things that makes it tick but the --------------------- hugs,appreciation,complements,acceptance and the gifts.If as couples we would practice that we would always win each others hearts.