Don't work so hard!!!

This is an interesting and humorous story I found somewhere. Trust you will find it funny even if you are also guilty. Read and then lets talk…

The Riddle Is Solved

Through the ages, men have been trying to unlock this mystery: 

Why do their wives, who accept them just as they are before they get married, begin the quest to change their behavior and life-style once their vows are exchanged?

Finally, the riddle is solved.  A social scientist has arrived at this simple and logical explanation. 

When the bride, accompanied by her father, starts to walk slowly down the long aisle, She sees the altar at the end and hears the choir singing a hymn.  Walking down the aisle, the conditioning process where the brain absorbs these three stimuli: aisle, altar, hymn, begins.  She becomes mesmerized as she continually reinforces these perceptions: Aisle, altar, hymn.  .  .  Aisle, altar, hymn.  .  . Aisle, altar, hymn.  And finally, as she stops beside the groom, the conditioning process is complete.

She looks up at him smiling sweetly and keeps saying to herself...  "I'll alter him"

Did you enter marriage with the same heroic determination that you were the answer to changing your spouse? I was spared such delusion because my Dad (Spiritual) had taught me that you cannot change your wife so don’t even try. There are two people key to changing anybody, the person needing change and God. Having been a pastor for some years now I have come to learn that it is true. I cannot change the members in the church. Change only comes when they realize they need to change and they have the necessary tools to make the needed changes.

The people around us are there to help us see tat we do need to change. Conflict and pressure helps us to see that there is a need for adjustments in our lives. Mike Murdock writes in his books 101 Wisdom Principles (Get it if you’ve never read it) Pain is not an enemy, merely an indicator that an enemy exists. So when there is pain in your life don’t just fight the pain, find the source and make some changes. Have ever had a head ache and you get a pain killer which helped manage the pain for a little bit then as the effects of the pain killer begin to wear of the pain returns and you take more tablets and the cycle continues. Well I discovered that some head aches I was getting were because I was not taking in enough water and my digestive system was sending a signal to my head that “hey for things to work better down here we need more fluids”. I could have continued to buy and take in more tablets and create more problems or I could just increase my fluid intake. Get rid of the pain and create a healthy environment for the body to function.

Have you been bust working at changing your spouse hoping the marriage will be better? Have you tried to take your spouse to seminars and couples meetings hoping they will change? You buy a book on overcoming lust and you put it on the dresser hoping he will find it accidentally and read it and be delivered? Well we have all tried one trick or the other to change our spouse. How about this you buy all the books on the hottest sex and the best positions hoping she will read it and surprise you but alas nothing happened. Your spouse was the like the scripture in Malachi “I am your spouse and I change not” you hint about a favorite dish that you want to have and there is no sign that it will ever be cooked. You say, “You know my mom used to cook this curried chicken that I enjoyed so much I always looked forward to it”. Wives have this way of ignoring the thing you really want by giving you something they think you need. Well I am talking about other wives not mine as mine is not like that (Lol) other husbands have this amazing ability to forget what their wives need as if they never heard. Because of the pastoral anointing on me I don’t have that problem. I can see you don’t believe me; well you are right these things are in all marriages and we have to understand that pain is not an enemy merely an indicator that a problem exists.

Let me close by giving you an answer that works and this has worked for me. I put 100% of my change effort into changing me, well let me be honest maybe 80% once in a while I get carnal and I try and change my wife. This leads to frustration on both our parts. Work on you more than any other person, grow yourself develop yourself. Get books that help you and when they have worked on you the change that emanates from there will filter to your spouse osmotically. That’s a new word from osmosis moving from a place of lower concentration to a higher concentration. When change becomes real in you it will move to your spouse. Hypocrisy will turn them away from change so let God do a real work in you and that will draw a change in your spouse. I have heard many spouses say when I saw my husband/wife beginning to grow and walk with God it began challenge me to go higher in my walk with God. A living letter is a powerful letter you cannot debate it.

Another thing that will help is getting into the presence of God together when you come out your hearts a lot more tender to each others needs than when you are dry. The Bible says the Holy Spirit changes us from glory to glory so moments of intimacy with God will enhance intimacy between the two of you.

The last thing I will share with you that will help you see change in your marriage and spouse is a shared vision for a great marriage. What we want to do at “Married and loving it” is to provoke that. I want every person that reads this blog to leave having been provoked that it is possible to be married and love it. Many people today want to have happy marriages but they do not know what it looks like and much less if it is achievable. I want you to know that you and be happily married and enjoy yourself. Follow the wisdom shared here and in many other good books and you will see you marriage going higher.

Crating a shred vision of a happy marriage includes and is not limited to the following

Taking time together to dream and talk and write down what you desire

Reading material that develops and provokes you (like my blog)

Praying about family vision and focus

Developing a vision corner

Doing a self-assessment that helps you t know the areas you need to change in your own life

Following the principles taught in “Success paradigms 101” by Pastor Xtreme (This is currently on offer for free and you can order it via email to Pastorxtreme@gmail.com this is our Christmas gift to you) if you are in the Joburg area we can send it to you by mail but you will have to cover printing and postage costs only. The manual is a step-by-step process of moving your life from where it is to where it should be in any area. Order it now you will be blessed. Full money back guarantee if it does not work. Guaranteed to change your life within 30 days if followed diligently.

Well anyway I just wanted t say “Stop working so hard” enjoy your spouse and let God change them. We love you and see you in the “Married and loving it” corner coming soon to you

Much Love Pastor T and P Xtreme